If you don't want to take a chance and would like to eat in a place that serves the same menu all year round from an indeterminate source with profits leaking out of the British economy into Multinational overseas investors pockets then please feel free to go elsewhere (to a chain carvery down the road perhaps) and spend £16 or £17 on a three course Sunday Lunch there. We don't pretend to offer the Earth, we're just a hard-working family business striving hard to keep our loyal team of staff employed, pay our taxes and look after the future of independent places like Wallett's Court.Ultimately you choose where you go to eat out, don't let us force you into paying £21.95 for a three course Sunday Lunch, if you don't believe it to be good value, let us know AT THE TIME and we'll see what we can do to add value to your experience whilst you're with us.Now, imagine this... I am coming to your house for lunch. You put the heating on, light the fire perhaps. Now go to Tesco and buy a tin of Heinz Tomato Soup, a small loaf of Mother's Pride, a small packet of butter, a Bird's Eye Traditional Roast Beef for one, a tin of vegetables, a couple of Aunt Bessies' Yorkshire Puddings and McCain's home roast potatoes and a dark chocolate Magnum (this will all come to £10.18, remember that figure).Now prepare all of that, lay a table with your best linen, crockery, cutlery, glasses and wait for my arrival. When I get to your house bring me a jug of iced water for which you won't charge me of course, then serve me my tomato soup with half a loaf of bread, roast beef dinner with tinned veg and frozen Yorkshires, and chocolate Magnum for pudding.Now, I may spend the afternoon sitting in your lounge by the fire or in your garden whilst you spend the next hour or so washing-up and tidying the dining room. At the end of that I'll hand you £18.39 (that's £21.95 less 20% VAT) and you'll delight in the profit from your endeavours. That's a healthy £8.21 from your outlay of £10.18 unless you factor in the cost of heating and lighting your house, insurance, rates, income tax, the cost of the glass that I dropped on your terrace (oops, sorry!), the cost of mowing the lawn, the cost of half a loo roll that I used and the copy of Hello that you kindly placed by the loo and I assumed you wanted me to keep that by the way. Now with all that factored in you will have made a glorious profit of a between a quid and naff all. But hey at least you'll have the reassurance of knowing that you won't have to do it all again for me tomorrow (reasons I won't be returning are to follow). Oh, no you won't because as far as you're concerned I paid you the money and left appearing to have had a nice time albeit without a big thank you.
So, there you are in a few days time spending a little time relaxing with your family and you'll receive a lovely email from me informing you that I've told the rest of the world via the Internet that I had an average time at your house but thought that it wasn't worth the money...
At this point you'll feel like jacking it all in and moving to a volcanic island in the middle of the Mediterranean where you don't have to pander to the needs of spoilt twots like me with aspirations of becoming the next Michael Winner...
Here endeth the outpouring of my passionate views... For more rants please read my blog at lostfaithinhumanitytoday.blogspot.com
more dangerous volcanoes are those that lie dormant for years, holding
everything in, then burst open suddenly, usually with devastating